A Diary Dec 8, 2021

 Things are actually pretty good for me right now. I have almost $16,000 in my checking account. I should feel happy and secure. But I’m really just set for some disaster.

I really miss T. One makes a person the center of life and it seems like everything is over when they are gone. And she still has not responded to messages after saying that I will not hear another word from her.
I really miss her love. 

Loss of love feels like a sort of death. 

It is good that I need to find my way alone now. Maybe I can find out what I’m really about. I spent a long time only looking at my reflection in them. It will be interesting to me to see if there is anything in me other than that narcissistic need to impress others. They can help me establish what is good in me worth keeping alive. Pleasing T and living in her love is no longer what it is all about.